"Rhyl on Sea has the world's largest seagull breeding ground and these export themselves to the four corners of the current UK and even as far as the continent. If we could get other nations to pay tax on what we see as a vital resources, we could hold the world to ransom, in addition, burning the vast amount of seagull guano which coats our street would give Rhyl on Sea and its neighbours energy security for at least the next 1,000 years."
- Darren Clwyd
Independence for Rhyl on Sea - Residents call.
The long-cherished dream of Rhyl on Sea residents - to become an independent devolved nation - was dealt a further blow last night, as several less populous surburbs pre-emptively announced their independence from any North Wales city states which may form.
With the imminent breakup of the United Kingdom, constituent nations have vowed to give their own people the power to elect their own politicians, make their own laws and decide their own destiny as historic countries in their own right.
And Rhyl on Sea leaders were quick to follow, claiming independence from the proposed geographical entity which would make up greater North Wales.
"We are Rhyl on Sea and we are proud," stated presidential candidate, Rhys Millar in the early hours of last Thursdaymorning. "For too long we have slaved beneath the yoke of oppression imposed on us by our neighbours. They have taken our jobs, taken our young people and our taken our natural resources.
"We have delved into our glorious history and discovered our true past. 800 years ago Rhyl on Sea was an autonomous city state conducting friendly trading relations with other North Walian city states such as Abu Gele. We demand restoration of our statehood and condemn those who would keep us from our destiny."
Putative minister of the exchequer, Darren Clwyd, believes that the prospect of financial independence is just as realistic as that of political independence and told the Seaside News, that citizens of the republic could expect to reap dividends from the vast array of natural resources, which stem from Rhyl on Sea's prime coastal location.
"Take seagulls for example, It's a well known fact, that Rhyl of Sea has the world's largest seagull breeding ground and these export themselves to the four corners of the current UK and even as far as the continent," he blustered. "If we could get other nations to pay tax on what we see as a vital resources, we could hold the world to ransom, in addition, burning the vast amount of seagull guano which coats our street would give Rhyl on Sea and its neighbours energy security for at least the next 1,000 years."
These ambitious plans were put on hold about an hour ago by the residents' association of the town's White Rose area. Reports coming out of the negotiating chambers tell of a stand off between the provisional Rhyl on Sea Government and that of the fatuous White Rose Republic who plan to secede from Rhyl on Sea.
"As the centre of the town's seagull population and the greatest concentration of seagull guano, we refuse to submit to this shameless pilfering of our greatest national treasure and have prepared a manifesto outlining what we view to be proper restitution. This is our right as a people," said a spokesman.
In later developments, a man named Chris has announced his intention to remove his house from the white Rose republic and timed a referendum for next Wednesday.
